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A-Lo Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "A-Lo" journal:

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May 30th, 2007
12:18 am

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ignore all previous entries

wow. i just read like all my past entries and this is a disturbing little journal. my appologies. both for the disturbingness and for my absence. i have returned and im all better. perhaps i will be an active writer here or perhaps it will be another year before i post anything, but just so you know...im happy now.

Current Mood: happyhappy

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May 10th, 2006
01:42 pm

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cat on fire
for you alan, 



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May 8th, 2006
01:31 am

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Philly fans make Bonds aware of Babe&apos;s legacy ...

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April 18th, 2006
12:38 am

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EDCP 108 Final Paper

read it if youve ever wondered how alex lopez's mind works.

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April 12th, 2006
02:40 am

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fiji
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

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December 30th, 2005
10:12 pm

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my dad sat me down the other day. and he told me i had to conform. he told me i had to live within the rules and expectations. and that contrary to popular belief it IS about money. having heard this i have decided to not conform, and not give a shit about the money. im going to live for me and for those i care about. but if those i care about dont like how im living then fuck them. i live for me. do not end up a suburban clone david. be a god wherever you are. whatever you do, be different from all others who do it. and above all be happy. if we do what we want, when we want we will never be let down. if we live for the moment fuck the future. fuck the consequences. even when the consequences are dealt we can find another way to be happy.

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02:28 am

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Is the juice worth the squeeze.
(Corniest line ever or just what i need?)

the pain never goes away. realize that now and accept it. it will always be there. im not talking about all pain, im talking about the pain you know the first second you feel it lasts forever. they tell you it goes away, but it doesnt. you just dont think about it, you block out all things that could possibly trigger the pain. you live in denial. denial of your feelings. denial of your problems. denial of those you love. those you care about. and those that care about you. it is easier to simply shut down than to continue functioning along with the pain. my father asked me this week how it is anyone could consider suicide as a way out. because its easy. it doesnt hurt. when you live with a pain so unbearable you are willing to scream, fight, or cry at the drop of a the idea of stopping the pain consumes you. you turn to alcohol, you turn to drugs, you turn to sex. eventually you find yourself back at the source of the pain. you confront it. you tell it it hurt you. you tell it you hate it. you tell it you wish it would just go away. you try to release yourself from it. but you discover something. you love the pain. not just love like you love that feeling when you just wake up and the air is cold but your bed is warm, or the way straight guys say they love eachother and embrace in an irony filled display of male bonding. no. you are actually in love with the pain. is it any surprise? it shouldnt be. its been there every day since you met it. every waking moment its there with you. it goes with you everywhere. it eats with you, it showers with you, it sings with you, it rides shotgun on your way to a place you most likely hate to be. it goes home with you, it kisses you, it undresses you, it sleeps with you, and it wakes up next to you. how could you not fall in love with it. its part of your life. its the biggest part of your life. you live with this for months, and you ask yourself, how could something i love hurt me so much. and you realize, you asked yourself the same question the first time you felt it. youve come full circle. you realize you have wasted however much of your life it took to complete this circle. whatever you accomplished in between is irrelevent. you may have pushed through the pain, gone on with your life, and pretended to be happy, somehow winding up being relatively successful. or you may have chosen to crash and burn ruining your life, hoping youll never have to return again to that first moment it hit you. you get back there. back to that spot. right back to that emphatic "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" and you realize youve learned nothing. youve gained nothing and lost everything. you thought the time you spent would lead you to a some sort of conclusion. you thought you would find resolution. you thought you would move on. instead youre right back at the beginning wishing it never happened in the first place. youre left wondering how its even possible. you realize that were you in a position to inflict this much pain on someone you would never dream of it. it makes you sick to your stomach. but somehow it was done to you. somehow something you loved manage to ruin you. managed to find a way to cut you open and pour salt in your wounds every day of your life. and yet the pain gives no reason. no justification. there is none. just an appology. but if there is no reason how can it be done? there is no answer. only regret. in the end you are left bitter and confused. you love the pain. and the pain loves you. you realize the pain is never going away. sometimes you feel love, sometimes you feel hate. there is no inbetween. all you can do is wonder...is the love worth the hate? i am confused.

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November 20th, 2005
03:16 pm

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a place to comment
so i realized for some reason there is nowhere to comment about my batman-ness on that page...so make your batman and alex related comments here.

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November 19th, 2005
06:19 pm

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i have just confirmes what i already knew
Your results:
You are Batman
Batman
75%
Green Lantern
75%
Spider-Man
70%
Supergirl
65%
Wonder Woman
65%
The Flash
55%
Superman
50%
Robin
50%
Hulk
50%
Iron Man
50%
Catwoman
45%
You are dark, love gadgets
and have vowed to help the innocent
not suffer the pain you have endured.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

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November 5th, 2005
01:11 pm

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high school
every pleasant memory i have of high school involves me avoiding high school. Be it skipping class...bullshitting an assignment...making a fool of myself for a laugh in the middle of a lecture...or mouthing off to a sub (or real teacher actually) i enjoyed myself most when i was not actually focusing on school. remember st patty's day guys? drunk mr lindos class? come on! oh man good times. jesi david amber andrew christa AND ANNE(who is awesome times a google) and all the rest i skipped w/ on a consistant basis i thank you for the memories. and i ask you to help me relive the nostalgia...post a comment and recall your favorite skipping memory involving me...i know there were so many but come on...this will be fun. by the way this is not limitd only to you guys...id love to hear from everybody.

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